Saturday May 1, 1999
Report by Peter Ashcroft

As part of Port Sunlight R.F.C.'s 90th season celebrations, a Port Sunlight Cosmopolitan side entered into the annual Caldy 7's tournament at Thurstaston on May 1st 1999. Chris (Cheesecloth) McGrath was asked to assemble an appropriate side to represent the Club.

Originally, Chris has hoped to use his Scottish and Staffordshire connections, together with current Club members, in the formations of the 7's squad. In the event the Scottish contingent did not materialise, presumably being deluded into thinking that more excitement would be on offer at the Old Firm derby in Glasgow, or possibly they were concerned that in the event of devolution of their Nation State their return from England might be blocked.

It also transpired that the strategy of organising the Club's annual Race day at Uttoxeter on the same day only served the benefit of the Bookies and reduce the availability of Club members for the squad.

The day was saved by Simon (our loyal Saffordshire connection) who brought his mates Kieran (Doctor just finished 24 hours on call), Damian (Doctor in theatre until 0700 hours) and Dave (speedy winger and expectant Dad); also by Ged (el Presidente's son) and Paul (past member with properties to let and current Hoylake 3 XV bandido). Thanks must also go to the two substitutes we acquired on the day - Dave (now black-balled by the Wirralians for fraternising with Port Sunlight) and Keith (who refused to take the money on offer at New Brighton).

As a reward for all Chris (Cheesecloth)'s efforts, we were afforded a first game against the favoured host Club, on the largest main pitch. Resplendent in the Club's black and white hooped jerseys plus new matching socks, our flock moved into the arena for the expected ritual slaughter. But wait there - in the first minute Simon makes a break and motors some 70 meters for the first Cosmo's score. More Cosmo's score followed resulting in the annihilation of the bewildered Caldy players. Quick, someone will have to rewrite the script (draw) to enable the host Club to go into the Main competition. This would enable the Cosmo's, after some 5 games, to succumb in the semi-final of the Plate competition to the eventual winners, Chester) College O.B's.

Our small band of intrepid followers, namely Ashy and Haighy (senior moment coaches), Colette (dishy physio who also has a cheesecloth but keeps it under wraps), Tony (I'm available next season) Griffiths and Mike (shin-splints) Humphries, all enjoyed the team's commendable efforts.

Later, on a sun-kissed late spring evening, a few of us savoured the delightful setting from the clubhouse veranda in the lea of Thurstaston Hill. We looked out across the Dee estuary towards Wales where, Kieran assured us his 'Mammy and Daddy' had taken him most Sundays in his formative years - come to think of it, Kieran's bald head and recumbent wart really did look like Moel Famau!

The beer flowed as did the talk of the day's events and other games - a truly convivial occasion enjoyed by like-minded folk, which in essence of our game of Rugby that remains amateur. Roll on the Stoke 7's.