2ND TEAM RAMBLE
07th November 1998
Liverpool Collegiate IIXV 7 Port Sunlight IIXV 13
Report by Chris Randles PSRFC roving reporter (player?!) on the scene.
Port Sunlight’s second team took their seven game winning streak to Liverpool Collegiate and left narrow 13 - 7 victors after a nervous display had allowed their hosts back into a game Sunlight should have had wrapped up by half time.
Comfortably on top in the opening period the Sunlight pack produced a solid platform and ample good ball which only strong Collegiate tackling prevented the backs from capitalising on. At half time Sunlight had only two first half Paul Mitham penalties to show for their dominance, but with the wind now at their backs could be forgiven for thinking their territorial superiority would lead to a points avalanche. However Collegiate seized the early second half initiative, and using the slope to their advantage had Sunlight pinned on the own line for much of the opening quarter of an hour. Only strong, and sometimes desperate, defence by Byrne and Jones in the centre and Hall, Jojo Wilson and Grayson in the back row prevented a Collegiate score.
When Sunlight finally escaped the boggy right hand corner astute kicking from Mitham and Lee drove Collegiate back to their own 22. From a resulting line out quick ball and a clever miss move in the backs freed Ronnie Lee to chip for the corner...
Not sure what happened with the rest of this report, hopefully it will turn up in the future.
14th November 1998
Port Sunlight IIXV 24 Prenton IIXV 14
Report by Chris Randles PSRFC roving reporter (player?!) on the scene.
The Port Sunlight second team made it nine wins in a row with a display against Prenton that ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous.
An almost unprecedented good start saw Sunlight press forward strongly and dazzling handling freed Simon Byrne down the left to cross for an early score. Sunlight maintained the pressure and Byrne again capitalised intercepting a loose pass from the Prenton fly half to race under the posts for his second try which Graham Cooke converted. Sunlight should have scored again after quarter of an hour but a glaring knock on from captain Phil Cullen let Prenton off the hook.
Sunlight’s momentum was disrupted shortly after with flanker Mark Grayson having to leave the field for treatment to an injured hand. However, even a man down, the pack, led superbly by Mike Dorney, drove deep into Prenton territory and forced a penalty only five yards from the try line. Steve Nicol went on the crash and laid the ball back. Quick second phase ball was fed out to prop Jimmy Kelly popping up in the centre, and he produced a deft side step followed by a crunching hand off to go over for Sunlight’s third try, Cooke again converting.
At half time Prenton very sportingly offered the use of their substitute to replace the injured Grayson who was unable to continue. Now playing with the wind Prenton began the second half more brightly and forced Sunlight back into their own twenty two. They were unable to turn this early pressure into points and Sunlight escaped and were soon on the attack. Good second phase possession again enabled the backs to demonstrate their handling skills and a well timed pass from Pete Jones saw Chris Randles pinball over the line from ten yards out. It was the third try by the Fatboy in as many weeks.
Prenton redoubled their efforts and when the Sunlight backs were caught offside in their own twenty two Prenton were able to crash over from the resulting penalty. Play then swept from end to end with neither side able to get the crucial score. With the wind strengthening the Sunlight backs then made a couple of ill judged attempts to run the ball from deep in their own half to the obvious chagrin of their forwards. From one of these attempts scrum half Jeff Ebbrell, who up until this point had played a flawless game, was tackled and Prenton benefited with another converted try.
It was too little too late from Prenton and the Sunlight backs made up for their earlier lapse by once again demonstrating their strong defensive capabilities to keep the score 24 to 14 at the final whistle.
Sadly the Port Sunlight clubhouse still remains a pie free zone.
21st November 1998
Port Sunlight IIXV 20 Shell IIXV 15
Report by Chris Randles.
It was ten out of ten for Sunlight+s second team on Saturday as they extended their winning sequence into double figures at the expense of local rivals Shell.
The Shell seconds, part of the successful Shell club that has fielded some of the strongest local sides in recent seasons, and who certainly have had the better of derby matches in the last few years were beaten by a side whose confidence is sky high and who showed a greater determination to win. It was this will to win that would prove the difference between two very evenly matched sides.
For the second week running Port Sunlight opened brightly. A whirlwind start by the Sunlight pack and a series of punishing kicks from fly half, Ronnie Lee immediately had Shell on the back foot. Driven deep into their own twenty-two Shell found it difficult to clear their lines. Sunlight seized on the chance to work quick ball along the three quarters enabling captain, Phil Cullen, to atone for last weeks handling error by speeding over in the right hand corner for his fifth try of the season.
Shell, however benefiting from better field position from the restart, struck back almost instantly. A quick tap penalty caught the Sunlight pack napping and Shell burst through to equalise. A fearsome forward battle then ensued with neither side able to hold the upper hand for long.
Sunlight took the lead once more after a good line out combination between hooker Chris Mount and second row Nick Foode freed Jeff Ebbrell to scramble over from close range. Again Shell hit straight back with Sunlight guilty of more slack defending from a penalty. With half-time approaching and the score locked at ten all Shell gained a line out five yards from the Port Sunlight line and took the lead for the first time in the game when their prop crashed over.
Following the restart, and with the dank afternoon getting ever more gloomy, Sunlight drove to within two yards of the try line but desperate Shell defence saw them temporarily repelled. A score was on the cards though and as Sunlight moved forward again prop Jimmy Kelly burst through in the centre and dragged the Shell fullback over the line for a try which Graham Cooke converted.
Clinging to a two point lead the Sunlight backs showed all their defensive mettle with man-of-the match Pete Jones outstanding in the centre. Both sides were given a temporary respite from the rigours of battle following a bizarre "what happened next" incident. With Shell pressing, Jeff Ebbrell, the Sunlight scrum half attempted a clearing kick from his own twenty two only to also boot the referee who had kept a little too close up with play for his own comfort. A short delay followed for treatment to the Ref, before he gamely carried on.
This may have had the effect of stifling Shell+s momentum as from the restart Sunlight drove back up the field were Ronnie Lee was only just short with an opportunist drop goal before Graham Cooke landed a twenty five yard penalty.
This proved the final score of a pulsating game which Port Sunlight thoroughly deserved to win. As the murky November afternoon closed in not even the shock news filtering in from Sunlight+s third team fixture about Billy "Wildman" Skinner's yellow card in the game against Oldershaw could mar a very satisfying result for the Seconds.
Nor could the continued inexplicable absence of pies from the Sunlight clubhouse menu.
28th November 1998
Hoylake IIXV 5 Port Sunlight IIXV 11
Report as ever by Chris Randles.
Rolling, rolling rolling. Rolling, rolling, rolling. The Port Sunlight Second Team Wagon Train rolled through Hooray County Territory and slunk away again over the prairie trail after a smart bit of rustling had rolled them to an eleventh consecutive double-ewe.
At times the Sunlight team played like a stubborn mule as they failed to get going with any degree of fluidity during the entire match. In fits they were brilliant. In starts they allowed themselves to be dragged down to the level of a Hoylake side who sought to disrupt at every opportunity.
Hoylake were helped in this task by a Referee who had obviously received a new whistle for an early Christmas present. Flowing rugby was most definitely absent from the menu as first one side, then the other bore the brunt of a multitudinous, and largely unwarranted penalty count. The best that can be said about the Referee was that he penalised both sides equally.
The Referee however wasn’t the only person on the receiving end of an early Yuletide gift. Fatboy Randles looked as though he was auditioning for a part in pantomime when he allowed a ball to bounce inside the Sunlight twenty-two. A cruel twist of fate saw the ball fall kindly for the advancing Hoylake centre to gather and give Hoylake an undeserved early five point lead. Much egg on face time!
Sunlight rallied and drove within penalty range from where Paul Mitham reduced the gap to two, by stroking over after Hoylake were penalised for offside.
The game meandered on until half time with Sunlight showing little reward for providing most of the pressure.
Shortly into the second half Sunlight received another blow when captain Phil Cullen was ambushed and had to leave the field with a worrying knee injury - Get Well Soon, Phil.
The fourteen remaining Sunlight players reshuffled, Neil Snelgrove moved to scrum half, Paul Mitham slotting in at Stand Off with Chris Randles and Jeff Ebbrell covering the wing and fullback positions between them.
Somehow Port Sunlight managed to finally put some concerted play together and took the lead when Mike Dorney drove over from a short Hoylake line out.
With Nick Foode and Paul Shirley outstanding in the loose Sunlight continued to hold the upper hand, however only the customary strong tackling from the backs prevented a breakaway try from the youthful Hoylake three quarters who looked to run at every opportunity.
Paul Mitham landed a second long range penalty with five minutes to go easing the jangling Sunlight nerves somewhat, but it was still a relief when no-side was called making it eleven on the trot for the Sunlight posse.
The Pie Free Zone Conspiracy that exists in the Sunlight Clubhouse continues to garner speculation. Questions have been raised in the house. My house that is.
The Pie Is Out There!
5th December 1998
Port Sunlight 2XV St' Mary's Old Boys
The game was called off on the evening before - apparently, St Mary's could not raise a front row.
12th December 1998
Sunlight defeated Moore - No report cause the reporter was in London..
19th December 1998
Port Sunlight IIXV 8 Shell IIXV 12
Report by Chris Randles.
It was "Unlucky Thirteen" for the Sunlight second team on Saturday as they lost their proud unbeaten record. A streak that stretched back to the 19th of September. The secret "Pie Magic" ingredient was definitely off the festive menu as Sunlight lumbered to inevitable defeat following dressing room disruptions that unsettled their pre-match preparation.
The manner of defeat was farcical, it was a game that Sunlight could, should and would have won under normal circumstances. That is not to take anything away from Shell, who perhaps learning from their defeat at Sunlight’s hands only a month ago won the match through sheer self belief.
The day had already started badly for the seconds. Waterlogging at Shell’s ground saw the venue switched back to Green Lane on Saturday morning, this led to one or two players turning up at the wrong ground. Also with second team captain Phil Cullen absent through illness and stand in Mike Dorney called into the first team an hour before kick off the seconds were looking to fill some sizeable shirts even before the off.
Taking to field ten minutes late Sunlight started brightly despite having at least two players playing out of position. Further trouble was soon to follow with Tub of Lard winger Chris Randles hit with a re-occurrence of his hamstring trouble. Some uncharitable souls put this down to him having been at the festive pies a week early. And though the brave little warrior stayed on the pitch his contribution was somewhat limited.
The forward battle evident earlier in the season was again on display with first one side then the other holding the ascendancy. The Port Sunlight pack performing manfully, despite the enforced reshuffle. Again misfortune hit Sunlight with Man of the Match Paul Shirley forced to leave the field for treatment to a badly gashed nose. It was whilst they were a man down that Sunlight succumbed to Shell pressure Surprisingly it was missed tackling that was the cause of Shell’s first try. A poor clearance from the injured Randles was taken in mid field by the Shell backs who then seemed to race unimpeded to the score in the corner.
Sunlight hit back and were rewarded early in the second half when Paul Mitham slotted home a penalty. From then on it was mostly Sunlight surging forward, with a restored Paul Shirley and a ferocious Andy Whyte leading the charge. However again sloppy defence allowed Shell to sneak under the posts for a converted try.
Sunlight increased the pressure and scored in the corner. Fatboy Randles pogoing over the line on his one good leg after a neat interchange of passes between emergency No. 8 Mike Humphries and scrum half Jeff Ebbrell.
It was too little too late for Sunlight and with Paul Mitham’s late penalties missing touch in the failing light their unbeaten streak was over.
Spirits were soon restored in the clubhouse with the annual carol singing session. And it is doubtful that a more beautiful rendition of "Away In A Manger" has ever been heard.
Happy Christmas everyone.
2nd January 1999
No report cause they lost......!
9th January 1999
Vulcan IIXV 6 Port Sunlight IIXV 14
Report by Chris Randles.
Sunlight rose from their festive slump to emerge triumphant from a bad tempered encounter with the banjo playing Vulcan second team.
On a pitch resembling The Somme on a bad day both side struggled to play flowing rugby. The cousins from Vulcan started brightly and with the game only five minutes old and Sunlight still to touch the ball drew first blood from a penalty in front of the sticks after Sunlight were penalised for offside.
Sunlight regrouped and electing to keep the play tight against the free running rugby league style opposition were soon camped in the Vulcan half. They were unable to break through though, uncharacteristic handling errors in the backs to blame for the breakdown of some promising moves.
Late in the first half Vulcan escaped and received another penalty near the Sunlight posts which they converted.
The beginning of the second half was marred by what is quaintly termed a little bit of argy bargy! Vulcan were stretching the bounds of gamesmanship with their niggardly league style of play and exploiting the inexperience of the referee to their advantage when the match erupted into violence.
Sunlight flanker, Gary Marsden, was laid out cold following a cowardly strike at a maul. In the ensuing brawl the Vulcan second row was also knocked out cold, both players having to leave the pitch. Fortunately the referee was able to restore some order and play continued with no further trouble.
Sunlight still dominated most of the play, especially at the line-out were Nicke Foode and Matt ‘Mayo’ Metcalfe were in commanding form. It was from a line out that Sunlight eventually scored. Paul Mitham collected a loose kick near the halfway line and set off on a run down the sidelines. He beat the Vulcan winger before being bundled into touch about eight yards out. Sunlight stole the Vulcan lineout ball and the pack drove over the line, with Mayo claiming the touchdown. Paul Mitham stroked the ball over off an upright to give Sunlight a slender one point lead.
This panicked Vulcan who began trying to run the ball from deep within their own half. However with both Simon Byrne and Pete Jones tackling their hearts out in the centre they made little progress. In the end good pressure from Mike Dorney and substitute Matt Stewart forced Vulcan into a mistake. A loose pass in their own twenty two gave Chris Randles the chance to kick ahead. Displaying surprising pace given his ample girth the Fatboy fly-hacked for the line but was tripped from behind. However man of the match Simon Byrne was on hand to gather the loose ball and dive over the line for Sunlight’s second try, Paul Mitham again converting.
This left very little time for Vulcan to reply and it was only a couple of minutes until the referee brought down the curtain on what had been a deserved victory in difficult circumstances for the Sunlight seconds.
Saturday 16 January 1999
Halton 2nd XV 7 Portsunlight 2nd XV 32
Report by virgin reporter & 2nd XV captain Phil Cullen
The Gladiators entered the arena..................erm, sorry.
It was back to winning ways for the mighty 2nd XV as they gained their second consecutive victory after their run of 14 (yes 14) consecutive wins was rudely interupted by a gang of wannabies from near Clatterbridge and a 'unique' referee.
The 2nd's once again brushed aside another poor, unsuspecting opposition in a howling gale which gladly did not detract from the excellent Sunlight play. They took to the field resplendant in Halton's blue and white striped kit after Prop, Dunc (size of an elephant but not the memory of one) Clark, forgot to bring the kit. This minor indiscretion, however, did not distract them from the job at hand as the mighty 2nds once again gave a demonstration of rugby union football second to none to blow away any early opposition resisitence.
It wasn't long into the first half when an excellent rolling maul took the Sunlight boys to the try-line where Matt Stewart dived over for the first of Sunlight's 6 tries. Within 10 minutes of the restart, and after yet another tremendous rolling maul by the forwards, scrum-half Jeff Ebbrell spotted a gap down the blind-side and made the break, he slipped the ball to supporting back-row Mike Dorney who in-turn gave a try scoring pass to hooker (?) Jegsy Hall who had planted himself out on the wing.
Half time came and went and Sunlight started the second half as they had finished the first, with a mixture of tight scrums, rolling mauls and astute kicking from fly-half Paul Mitham which took them into the opposition 22. They found it slightly harder to break down Halton's heroic defence but once they did the floodgates opened with 4 tries in quick succesion from Winger and substitute pie-eater, Paul Cromby(2), Jegsy Hall (gaining a second try) and a well deserved try for 'Man-of-the-Match' Terry Mcmanus. This fininshed off Halton's last-gasp resistence and Paul 'Mitho' Mitham even managed to convert the last try!
This game once again emphasised Port Sunlight Rugby Club's present position with strong runs from Mark Grayston, Stuart Loyden (making up for his handling errors), Mike Dorney and Ady Spence epitimising the excellent mix of young and old and the strength in depth which is currently taking Sunlight onward and upward. (There were also a couple of good runs and tackles from centre Simon Byrne I was going to mention, but if you live in the Wirral area he's probably told you himself.)
Finally, two messages. Firstly to the self appointed 'up and coming star' and 'must be 1st XV fly-half' Pete Jones - it's 1.30 at home this Saturday for the 2nd's !! ...............and secondly, to the Piemaster himself, Chris 'Fatboy' Randles, the one game you've missed this week, we actually got pies, ha-de-ha -ha !!!
23rd January 1999
Port Sunlight IIXV 15 Didsbury TOC IIXV 3
Report by Chris Randles.
It was cruel and biting wind that blew lazily from the east, bringing with it an air of doubt and foreboding. The brave Sunlight warriors entered the Coliseum late and tense, their nerves stretched by an interminable wait for Didsburys missing cars to arrive.
Meanwhile portly winger Paul Crombie stared disconsolately at the floor of the changing room, secure in the knowledge that no matter how well he played it would be yet another week when his name was left out of the match report.
Crowds gathered expectantly on the sidelines as, finally, twenty five minutes late the game kicked off. (Stuart Hall mode OFF).
Electing to play down the hill Sunlight threw off the shackles of the pre match delay and quickly took the game to their opponents. Didsbury sought to run any ball that came their way but on a cold day their three quarters were sloppy with the scant possession they received. Sunlight too suffered handling errors, three times excellent opportunities were squandered by uncharacteristic knock ons.
Despite pummeling the Didsbury line Sunlight were unable to get the vital first score. Jeggsy Hall and Jeff Ebbrell both went close from solo breakaways. In the end it was raw forward power that proved decisive. From a line out close to the try line Nick Foode gathered good possession. An unstoppable rolling maul quickly formed, and as the pack collapsed over the line it was prop Jimmy Kelly who emerged with the score.
For a time it looked like the floodgates were about to open but slowly Didsbury regained some composure and with their backs starting to play more cohesively they soon had entered Sunlight territory for practically the first time in the game. They reduced the points deficit to two with a fortunate penalty in front of the posts when Sunlight were caught offside. From the restart Paul Mitham replied in almost the exact same circumstances after Didsbury themselves were caught offside. Didsbury came back again and were unlucky to miss and inexplicable penalty for an alleged late tackle. The first half ended with Didsbury camped in the Sunlight twenty-two.
Half-time gave Sunlight a chance to re-appraise their match strategy and from the off they were more dynamic. Didsbury attempted a ‘funny’ from the restart however the ball was well gathered by the returning Piemaster General Chris Randles. Unfortunately his kicking skills were somewhat lacking, prompting Warwick ‘Sicknote’ Nahasapeemapetilon to taunt cruelly from the sidelines that the Fatboy possessed the delicate footballing touch of a baby elephant. The weighty kick did force Didsbury to take a twenty two drop out, from which they again attempted a funny. Fatboy once more was equal to the catching part of his task, though having changed into a pair of curly toed Arabian shoes his negative kicking skills again shone through, to more hilarity from the sidelines. The mis-judged kick did, however, keep Didsbury penned back near their own line and from a subsequent line out prime snaffling from man of the match Jojo Wilson gave Sunlight their second try with Paul Mitham converting.
It was to be the final score of a scrappy match. Didsbury dominated for most of the rest of the game without really threatening to score. Finally as the gloom descended on Green Lane Paul Mitham and Chris Randles combined again for more kicking mayhem with Mitho having a kick charged down and the Fatboy gathering only to bullet his clearance into the stomach of Sunlight centre Gary Marsden.
No other action of any sort except to reflect that another match won gives Sunlight highly creditable statistics of only having lost three times all season. It is also another week when I have managed to produce a whole match report without mentioning any of Paul Crombies contributions. Well done me.
According to an unconfirmed source - the report was written by Chris this week, cause Phil who wrote last weeks threatened to expose Chris's kicking ability?!?!? I wonder if it's true?
Saturday 30th January 1999
Deeside IIXV 3 Port Sunlight IIXV 21
Report by Rick Outram or Chris Randles - Answers on a postcard to...
Welcome to an alternate reality. Welcome to a world where the normal laws of the universe (and Rugby Union) are suspended and replaced by something else, something odd and a little bit smelly. Welcome to a world in which you are not allowed to ruck or even to point out that the opposition backs are offside else you will be penalised for dummying from the back of the scrum. Welcome, in short, to Deeside.
Sunlight’s second team made the short hop over the border into Wales and emerged triumphant from a referee dominated encounter with Deeside. Tries from The Man With No Name, Jimmy Kelly and Chris Randles gave Sunlight a comfortable 21 points to 3 victory.
Straight from the off Sunlight looked the better side. Strong driving by the pack took the early play deep into Deeside territory. Unfortunately, before this territorial advantage could be converted into points, penalty after bewildering penalty marched Sunlight back, first to their own twenty two and then three points down. Why, oh why, oh why? To be fair to the referee once Deeside took the lead he penalised them just as madly, leading to much loudly voiced abuse from the Celtic ranks.
Sunlight ceaselessly drove down the field but a slippery ball on a cold wet day didn’t make the ideal recipe for free flowing rugby. Poor handling in midfield saw Sunlight waste a plethora of promising opportunities before Gerard "La-di-da Gerard on the Internet, not Jegsy" Hall struck against the head, the ball squirting out of the back of the scrum. Plump winger Chris Randles was quickest to react, dribbling the ball up to the Deeside twenty two, with all the skill and finesse of a footballing rhino, before he was tackled. The Sunlight back row of Dorney, Wilson and Marsden were first to reach the breakdown and quickly recycled the ball along the Sunlight back line freeing Sunlight’s other portly winger The Man with No Name to wobble in under the posts, Paul Mitham bagging the conversion.
The second half began much like the first, a deep kick off from Paul Mitham forced Deeside onto the back foot. From a line out on the ten metre line Sunlight gathered the ball and began an awesome rolling maul which only ended forty yards down field when prop, Jimmy Kelly was swept over the line for Sunlight’s second try. Paul Mitham again converting.
Deeside became ever more desperate and tried to run the ball at every opportunity but with Sunlight denying them clean possession their chances were few and far between. On the odd occasion when they did reach the Sunlight twenty two resolute defence from Lee Parnell and Simon Byrne - this weeks wearer of the fabled Arabian kicking slippers, stopped them in their tracks. Sunlight themselves got bogged down in midfield, as the bizarre referring and uncomfortable conditions stymied further creativity until the final minute.
Ronnie Lee began a move deep in the Sunlight half. He audaciously side stepped two Deeside players before slipping the ball to outside centre Lee Parnell. An outrageous dummy and remarkable turn of speed took the Scottish Exile up to the Deeside twenty two, where he drew their fullback before giving Fatboy Randles, amazingly still, gasping, on his shoulder, the chance to go in unopposed. There was just time for Paul Mitham to notch his third conversion of the day before no-side was called.
As a victorious Sunlight side headed home two final questions remained unanswered. Why did the opposition call Duncan Clark Saddlearse? And just who is the mysterious Man With No Name?
Tune in next week for the answers to these and many more questions in another exciting instalment of Port Sunlight - Team of Destiny!
Port Sunlight Mitham, The Man With No Name, Parnell, Byrne, Randles, Lee (Capt.), Ebbrell; Dorney, Wilson, Marsden, Nicol, Foode, Kelly, Hall, Clark.
Saturday 6 February 1999
St. Mary's Old Boys 2XV 0pts - Port Sunlight 2XV 3
Report by Rick Outram.
Two o'clock came and went, with Port Sunlight (team of destiny), destined to start the game one man down for the difficult away trip to St. Mary's Old Boys. One of their stout number had disappeared on the long trip, despite precise directions of, "near Hightown, left at the Pheasant, close to some farms..."
So it was with heavy hearts and even heavier bellies that the valiant seconds trooped onto the windswept and bleak arena to do battle with, by all accounts, a strong Saints second string.
Sunlight kicked off with a severe breeze at their backs and immediately made in-roads into the Saints twenty-two. Conditions dictated a tight game, with expansive rugby a distant memory. Sunlight used their forwards well, with Jimmy and Stevie mauling their way ever closer to the line, eventually spinning the ball out to mercurial outside half Ronnie Lee. This resulted in the backs first run of the day, however centres Byrne and Outram were harshly judged to have passed the ball forward, with the subsequent scrum and kick relieving pressure on the Saints' line.
The respite was short-lived and with Sunlight continuing to lay siege, a penalty was awarded deep in enemy territory for 'going over the top'. The crowd hushed as full back Paul Mitham (for whose feet a pair of curly- toed Arabian Kicking slippers will not fit) strode forward. The kick was always going to be difficult from outside the twenty two with the wicked zephyr blowing in from the Irish Sea, and Paul slid the kick slightly to the left of the uprights.
Undeterred, the numerically-challenged Sunlight Titans used the wicked wind to great effect and, once again, were awarded a penalty. Again the ice cool Mitham approached the ball, and with the benefit of the previous 'sighter', slotted the ball home.
Three-nil, and things looked even more rosy for Sunlight, as a sheepish Gary Marsden entered the fray to restore parity to the opposing forward lines.
The score, though had galvanised the saints, who again and again pushed forward from the base of the scrum. Both Number 8 and scrum half made significant gains, before heroic tackling by Suns back row of Marsden, man of the match Terry McManus and Jeff Ebbrell eventually brought them down, ably assisted by the terrier-like and always audible Sean Harris. Occasionally, Saints threw ball out to the backs, but again strong tackling snuffed out the threat. Indeed, during one of these rare moves Lee was left badly winded by a kick to the ribs. Sunlight looked on anxiously; would the recently acquired equilibrium be shattered by the removal of Sunlight's slippery stand-off ? Lee returned to the action, a man seemingly possessed, as he tackled ferociously, helping to keep the score to 3-0 at the interval.
Would such a slender advantage be enough, with Saints now taking benefit of the Merseyside Mistral blowing at their backs? The forwards talked of tough tackling and closing down, the backs wondered what the ball felt like, whilst man-with-no-name wondered if he'd get a mention this week.
Predictably, Sunlight spent most of this half penned-in their twenty-two; however a lack of penetration from the opposition, coupled with more Herculean tackling from the forwards negated the threat. With Mitham finding touch at every opportunity and the normally Ham-Bodied, never mind Ham-Fisted Davey 'Dave' leaping like a salmon and taking all line-out throws cleanly (a fact later modestly attributed to the accurate throwing of 'La-Di-Da Gunner Gerard'), Sunlight survived deep into the second half, preserving their narrow lead.
However, with two minutes to go, an inexplicable penalty was awarded to St. Mary's bang in front of the posts, a decision met with much chagrin and eloquent inquiry as to the refs parentage by the normally calm, unflappable Simon Byrne. This did little to change the refs mind and up stepped the Saints outside half (who throughout the game had the dubious honour of out-talking the afore-mentioned Byrne).
Sunlight were already cursing their luck, but the wind again played a part and the spoon-footed stand off turned in disgust as his ill-judged kick sailed hopelessly wide, the Man-With-No-Name on the wing gleefully signalling a miss almost before the ball was struck.
Soon after, the whistle was blown and Sunlight returned to the clubhouse battered and bruised, but happy, "a win's a win " chimed the returning Captain Cullen. Indeed, Man-With-No-Name later complained of being kicked in the chin, to which the whole team to a man chorused, "which one fatty!", and once again the roly-poly winger became the figure of fun, the lovable buffoon if you will.
Finally, a mention for Pie-Man, absent due to wedding duty, who once again missed out on the 'fabled silver salver of Pies of St. Mary's'; big Dunc 'saddle-arse' ate yours.
Team: Clarke, Hall, Kelly, Light, Nicol, McManus, Ebbrell, Marsden, Harris, Lee, Byrne, Outram, Cullen (Capt.), Mitham, Man-With-No-Name (Johnny X the invisible winger).
Saturday, 13 February 1999
2nd XV 8pts vs Old Anselmians 2nds 0pts
Report by Rick Outram.
Our story begins early this week, Wednesday night to be precise. The message crackled over the receiver, "One fifteen Saturday, if you are late there will be a fine!!"
So, it came to pass, that by 1.30pm on Saturday, most of the team had turned up a full hour before kick-off. Late-comers included Captain Cullen (no fine there then), Foody (too rich to worry about a few quid) and the habitually tardy Jeff Ebbrell; the latter even remembering the kit!
It was about then that the full enormity of the situation dawned on us, Captain Cullen proposed to fill the spare hour not with jokes and idle banter, but with warming up! This was alarming; would the delicate seconds survive the full 80 minutes, having already jogged lightly for over 10 minutes?
So with much muttering and gnashing of teeth from Mo, spluttering and hacking-up from Head Hockler Harris, the mighty twos haphazardly shambled up and down the pitch, trying moves, knocking -on and generally striking the fear of God into any watching opposition.
That done, "Team of Destiny" shuffled back to the changies to have a well-earned rest and have their studs inspected.
So to the game; a sweaty Sunlight lined up against an Old Anselmians team apparently riding the wave of a long winning streak. Would homefield advantage and a warm set of muscles be enough? Sunlight kicked-off , and straight away it became apparent that this was going to be another tight game. The forwards were evenly matched, with Anselmians eagerness to run the ball negated by tough midfield tackling. Thus the action was mostly confined to midfield, with neither side gaining a clear advantage.
Halfway through the half Sunlight found themselves in opposition territory, a scrum was awarded, duly won and the ball was despatched to Mitham. He surveyed his options and decided to drop-kick for goal ( usually pure folly when attempted by the likes of Pie-Man, Parnell or Outram), however sure-footed Mitho steered the ball at least in the general direction of goal. It wasn't a classic strike and Sunlight looked on anxiously as the ball waddled through the air, striking the cross-bar on its haphazard journey, before falling, exhausted over the posts. Three points in the bag (just!). This was a precious lead in such obviously tight circumstances; minutes later a second drop-goal attempt arced goalwards from the boot of Mitho only to slide agonisingly wide.
Now it was Anstys turn to apply the pressure as they marched upfield. Their pack made probing runs but were usually dealt with by a steadfast back row who tackled enthusiastically. Indeed, Grayson and the feisty Ebbrell were slightly over-enthusiastic and heated words (and punches) were exchanged. Such fisticuffs were not tolerated by the ref, who put his foot down with a firm hand!! Anselmians pressure eventually earned a penalty inside Suns twenty two. Bravely, they elected to run the ball rather than kick, the move ultimately involving a bludgeoning run from their hulking No. 8. He crossed the line for a 'try' with Sunlight forwards all over him like a cheap suit, however the ref was unsighted and a five metre scrum was awarded instead of five points. Here, again Sunlight rode their luck as the No.8 was penalised for breaking his binding and Mitho cleared the lines.
There was just time before the half ended for Ronnie Lee to be harshly penalised for 'coming in from the wrong side'. In front of the posts Anstys were wise to elect to kick. However, they didn't bargain on Suns new-found telekinetic abilities. As the full-back ran forward Suns concentrated on dragging the ball wide (except Johnny X who wondered whether he'd get his name mentioned this week!). The hideous mind-meld worked and the ball whistled wide of the upright.
So, the score remained 3-0 at half time.
The second half was another drab affair, only lit up by moments of magic even the Sunlight President would be proud of, by mercurial stand-off Ronnie Lee (more anon).
Anselmians kicked off long and their forwards were disappointed to see Mitho catching cleanly and punting the ball past the halfway line. This provided a useful platform for the Suns, who pushed into Anstys twenty-two. From a scrum on the right the ball was fed out to Mitham, a crossfield kick confused the defence, and winger Captain Cullen reacted first, jumping to collect. As usual though, he fumbled (backwards this time), and Si "The Poacher" Byrne, anticipating his captain's fallibility, was there to pick up the loose ball. He crossed the line and, ignoring Outram's impassioned plea to pass the ball, touched down to add to his impressive tally of tries. The conversion was missed, leaving Team of Destiny 8-0 to the good.
Anselmians now started to throw the ball wide in the backs, but tough tackling and handling errors kept the score to nil. Sunlight occasionally countered, with man of the match Lee instrumental. Suns stand-off carved and opening with a touch of class in midfield; shaping to kick , he deftly side-stepped his opposite number and, with the defence statue-like, made a twenty yard gain before being hauled down. The hand is indeed quicker than the eye, and this wizardry prompted calls for a random drug test from the spectators.
Anselmians pushed on inexorably, looking for the try that would bring them back into the match. Line-outs were dominated by their three jumpers presenting precious clean ball to their backs. Somehow, during this pressure Anstys fashioned a three man overlap; the game was surely up for Suns, however "Rocket" Ronnie again rescued his team. The ball was spun out with Ronnie the only defender, in a last ditch effort he sprang forward like an exocet missile, and intercepted the pass, feeding the ball back for Suns to clear.
The rest of the half was a similar story with only desperate tackles saving the Suns. Eventually the whistle blew and an enormous cheer erupted from the home team, so pleased and relieved were they at holding on. Injuries were few this week, with Man-With-No-Name the only casualty, sustaining a black eye when the nasty ball hit him in the face, "It's wickedly pointy at both ends you know", cried the corpulent scouser.
Team: Clarke, Mount, Kelly, Foode, Nicol, Ebbrell, Grayson, Dorney, Harris, Lee, Cullen (Capt), Byrne, Outram, Mitham, Man-With-No-Name.
Saturday, 27 February 1999
Port Sunlight 2nd XV 24pts L’pool Collegiate 2nd XV 0pts
Report by 2nd XV Captain Phil Cullen. (so much better than that ‘I’m pretending to be intellectual using words of more than one syllable’, editorial wannabe Rick ‘Rotund’ Outram)
The Victories are once again coming thick and fast for the best 2nd XV in the North-West as they romped to another well deserved victory. Even pre-match dummy spitting from ‘flag and pad man’ Johny Woods could not put off a ‘back to full strength’ Sunlight as they were once again inspirational. There were returns for no.8 Andrew ‘does me hair look all right’ Evans, Flanker Jimmy ‘the Fringe’ Winrow, Chris ‘I’ve lost a stone - honest!’ Rule and demoted outside centre Pete ‘I’ll play where I’m picked but I’m really a stand-off’ Jones.
Sunlight took to the pitch against Collegiate’s short-fuse 15 with one thing in mind, the same as every week, Victory, and it wasn’t long before they took the lead with strong running, rucking and mauling in the forwards unleashing the backs where a string of perfectly judged passes put Peter Jones in after an uncharacteristic drop of the shoulder to boom the opposition defender out of the way and dive over (uncharacteristic as a drop of the shoulder from Jonesy usually results in no more than a bruised shin for the opposition defender).
Sunlight dominated for most of the first half with Collegiate only mounting one substantial attack which was quickly snuffed out by Sunlight’s superb defence. Deep into the half Sunlight gained another scrum on the Collegiate 22. Man-of-the-match ‘Adonis’ Evans picked up the ball and with his hair perfectly placed, lovely clear blue eyes, pouting full lips, a taught torso and silky smooth thighs he cantered majestically over for a perfect try. Oh, how wonderful he is !
Anyway, half-time came and went and Collegiate started the second half with a more aggressive approach. Sunlight, undeterred, played rugby - such is their trademark and once again dominated with the Collegiate Captain becoming more and more agitated. It wasn’t long before another scrum on the Collegiate 22 resulted in yet another pick up at no.8 and with a beautiful hunk of a pass ‘big fella’ put Chris Rule under the posts for an effortless try.
Soon after this the game seemed to degenerate a little. Much shouting, pointing, gnashing of teeth and smudged lipstick resulted in 6 handbags being thrown to the floor. The Collegiate Scrum-half seemed to have had enough and proceeded to tell every member of his team, the referee, 2 touch judges, 6 spectators, a passing whippet and 2 golfers in the adjacent field (but mostly the fat, ugly, talentless, unfit and mostly useless prop - yes, he had butted me earlier in the game) that they were all sh**e and could all go forth and multiply. At this point the Collegiate Captain pondered thoughtfully, weighed up his options, looked at the score and the amount of time remaining and then, without a moments hesitation, ignored all of this and asked his scrum-half to leave the pitch..............please, I think I heard him say.
There was not long to go but still time for the try of the match. After yet another scrum on the Collegiate 22, The Chippendale picked-up the ball and went. Engulfed by the Collegiate defence he went to ground and from the resulting ruck and a little more driving and probing, Jimmy Winrow burst off the side and ran straight across the backs. It was time for inspiration when the ‘man for the job’ came out of position (how unusual) and on the scissors took a fine pass, burst two tackles, side stepped the full back, hurdled 2 defenders, woke-up, ate his corn flakes and dived over from all of 2 feet. Yes, ladies and Gentlemen, I was that man.
With Paul Mitham converting the two second half tries and another 2nd XV victory complete I retired to the bar so I could let Simon Byrne tell me how perfect he is and how Evo has nothing on him. Another honour for me, no doubt, as I got to know this before the rest of the Wirral.
Saturday, 6 March 1999
Previous Next Close Port Sunlight 2nd XV 5pts - Ruskin Park 10pts
Report by Phil Cullen - Highly Dissappointed 2nd XV Capt.
I have nothing to say of a positive manner. We were at our worst. A few of the players made an effort - the rest didn't. Things can only improve and they will I'm sure. Well dome Ruskin Park who exposed us all over the park and took full advantage. Better report next week - I hope.
Saturday, 13 March 1999
Oldershaw 2XV 18pts Port Sunlight 2XV 21pts
Report by Captain Phil Cullen
Mitho Drops One'
Following the previous week's defeat it was time for Sunlight's best XV to show what they were made of. Before the match started it was time for tough talking and pack-leader Mike Dorney went through the technical 'stuff' whilst the rest of the front 8 nodded eagerly and pretended to know what he was talking about. The captain took over and asked them for one thing, to prove themselves as the excellent players they are and once again make him proud to be captain. This, eventually, they did.
The pitch was not at it's best as it looked like the groundsman had only remembered to seed one side. Nevertheless, Sunlight kicked off against the wind and with the sun in their eyes. It was time to make amends for last week's humiliating defeat, time to do the talking on the pitch, to show the North-west what a fluke the previous week was................ or was it?
The first half had started, Oldershaw had started playing, but where were Sunlight? Once again they had forgotten where they were, they had forgotten there was a game going on and that they were actually playing in it.
Not again, surely. Was this the end of Sunlight's 2nd XV? Had they all decided to end the season prematurely and not told me? The answer for the first half was Yes as Sunlight found themselves 11-0 down at half-time with only their trade-mark strong tackling and a few 'unique' decisions from the referee (who was the funniest man I have ever met - oh, how I laughed - really I did) keeping the score down.
Half-time arrived and the team talk was loud and furious. Mike Dorney roared, the Captain roared and Dunc wondered were the orange juice was. The team talk obviously registered as straight from the kick off and resulting scrum the Oldershaw scrum half (who had an excellent game) took the ball, stepped two Sunlight players and scored under the posts. My, my, what respect I command.
THAT WAS IT, it was time to ask ourselves, do we fold as so many teams do? OR do we rise, phoenix-like from the ashes of defeat, and with sword in hand and hearts of fire conquer all before us (that means win). Suddenly it all started to click together. Sunlight kicked off and after securing possession passed the ball to Paul 'Mitho' Mitham who sent it spiralling to make touch just past the half way line. From the resulting line-out came the greatest catch and drive you will see at our level for many a year, as the Sunlight pack 'sprinted' to the touch line and Philly 'I will last the whole match' Wolfe dived over for an irresistible try. Could it be? Was it true? Sunlight's 2nd XV had woken up?
From the kick off Sunlight once again probed the Oldershaw defence looking for weaknesses with an inevitable penalty being awarded and kicked by 'Old Father Reliability' Mitho. The score was now 18-11. Sunlight really had woken up and maybe, against all the odds they could even win this game. 'That's impossible!!' I hear you say........no
team can come back from 18 - 0 down against Oldershaw.........with only 30 minutes to go.......no team on this earth.
O ye of little faith.
Again Sunlight attacked. The ball came to Simon 'the Quiet man' Byrne who put a deft chip over the defending centres. The chase was on as Pete Jones and Byrney went after the ball. The full back went to pick up and fumbled, the ball was lose, Byrney kicked ahead, dived on the ball and it was a try. (It was at this point that he earned himself a yellow card for dissent, Byrney? dissent? surely not.)
Unbelievable! 18-18 with 3 minutes to go. Surely they couldn't win as well?
Time was ticking by, Sunlight attacked again and again. Mitho called for the ball and out it came from Ruley the ribcracker. Mitho hit it, but unfortunately it was wide.
From the resulting 22, the pack caught and drove, Wolfey and Mayo outstanding, in fact the whole pack outstanding as they secured possession. This time there were seconds left on the clock as Mitho called for the ball. Out it came, he looked up and struck the ball. Up it went, the perfect drop-goal, straight through the posts. Almost immediately the final whistle went and fifteen men went into ecstasy, the other fifteen didn't. An unbelievable victory had been snatched from the jaws of defeat.
What made it all the better was the outstanding display of rugby from the young lads in my team, Terry Mc, Mark Grayston, Jo-Jo and Mayo. Sunlight have a very bright future if all the up and coming players are of their commitment and calibre.
To all of my team, what an excellent victory, easily the best of the season.
The Team - Nick Garrett, Jo Wilson, Dunc Clark, Phil Wolf, Matt Metcalf, Terry McManus, Mark Grayston, Mike Dorney, Chris Rule, Paul Mitham, Phil Cullen (Capt.), Simon Byrne, Peter Jones, Can't Remember, Ady Spence.
THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT
By Phil Cullen - 2nd XV Captain
And so the season has come to an end for Sunlight's glorious 2nd XV. Easily the best in the NorthWest this year - beaten only by injury or unavailability they have conquered all before them with ease, style and a flare reminiscent of the Barbarians. As captain I have one thing that no one else can take away, the memories of some of the greatest passages of play and individual skills I have seen.
Ronnie Lee's diving interception to save a certain try against the so- called 'invincible' Arselemians.
The kicking skills of Paul Mitham (a match-winner if ever there was one).
The forward running of Jimmy Kelley and Simon Byrne's 60 yard try against Parkonians running through practically the whole team. The tackling of Peter Jones, Gegsy (bite yer ankles) Hall, Jeff Ebbrell and Mike Dorney, so solid in defence as well as Nick Foode - probably the best tackling second row this club has. The list is endless but the one thing that inspired me for the whole of the season has been the young lads, Mark Grayston, Jo Wilson, Mayo Metcalfe, Terry McManus of course the teenage whippet, Paul Cromby! These lads on so many occasions played excellently, they have been outstanding. I have said it on many occasions, but cannot re-iterate enough that with players of their calibre this club has an excellent future.
I would also mention the other players all of them outstanding in their own way, Dunc Clark, Gary Marsden, Graeme Forrester, Dave Light, Steve Nicoll, Simon Ward, Chris Rule, Jimmy Winrow, Andrew (big fella) Evans, Sean Harris and the outstanding Neil Snellgove. If I have missed anyone I apologise.
I would also thank Ronnie Lee, Robin Ward and Peter Ascroft for their help and congratulate the latter two for doing an excellent job, well done to you both.
The stats stand - Played 31 Won 26 Lost 5 (for- 508, against- 224).
Gentlemen, from the bottom of my heart I thank you all the best and most enjoyable season I have ever had. Cheers.
